Mall-O-Madness

Our little family went to the mall a few days ago. I can't remember the last time I stepped into a mall and now I know why. First and foremost I call for all kiosks to be gathered in a very large kiosk making factory and blown to smithereens. They should then become illegal and never spoken of again. Are you with me?

I admit I was once young and stupid. I bought a rice necklace and helped their evil kiosk empire grown. Do you remember rice necklaces? They hired girls with extraordinary abilities to write names on a single grain of rice really, really small! Amazing. I just had to have it so everyone could squint to see who's necklace I wore. Or even better...you could get one with your boyfriend's name on it. Imagine the pride as fellow classmates took turns squinting while oohing and aahing over your latest name on rice. Luckily it was a fad that came and went quickly. Probably from all the law suites of the now seeing impaired. Tragic story that rice necklace. Let us never speak of it again.

So anyway we're at the mall and Brynner is bored in point two seconds until he sees this train coming right for us. Do you have a train in your local mall? I do and I must say it keeps shopping at the mall a bit edgier. You have to be on the look out at all times, absolutely no window shopping of ANY KIND or you could be flatten like a pancake that was squashed extra flat. Brynner didn't sense the danger, he was just excited to see it pass by and wanted more then anything to, "Ride, train, yeah?!" In order to keep him at bay while Daddy shopped his gift cards away, I went in search of this train. We passing it going the opposite direction twice without figuring out where to board the stupid thing. I finally jogged along side it long enough to ask the "conductor" and she pointed me in the right direction. We get our tickets ($6.00??!) and it's our turn to get on...finally. Brynner suddenly senses just how dangerous this train was and screams and kicks and freaks until I throw up my hands and get off. No refunds. Don't worry, we totally sold our tickets illegally to a couple who gave me coin dollars. This train is no where near as dangerous as I am. I sensed mall cops closing in as I cut them off just before the train rolled by. We decided to lay low and get some lunch. Brynner had other ideas. He decided to be super difficult (and loud) and throw a tantrum. He laid flat on his back and cried while he blew raspberries (which means he's super duper mad). Not as inconspicuous as I would have liked. On the way home he fell asleep in the car, very rare. He didn't wake up when we pulled in the garage, opened doors, took him out of his seat, not even when we took off his coat and shoes! He has never done that before in his entire life. I guess he was tired. Another eventful day at the mall, let us never speak of it again.

*Pictures from http://www.wattman.ca/mini-express.html and http://www.dreamairbrush.com/rice_jewelry/rice_jewelry.htm