Mall-O-Madness

Our little family went to the mall a few days ago. I can't remember the last time I stepped into a mall and now I know why. First and foremost I call for all kiosks to be gathered in a very large kiosk making factory and blown to smithereens. They should then become illegal and never spoken of again. Are you with me?

I admit I was once young and stupid. I bought a rice necklace and helped their evil kiosk empire grown. Do you remember rice necklaces? They hired girls with extraordinary abilities to write names on a single grain of rice really, really small! Amazing. I just had to have it so everyone could squint to see who's necklace I wore. Or even better...you could get one with your boyfriend's name on it. Imagine the pride as fellow classmates took turns squinting while oohing and aahing over your latest name on rice. Luckily it was a fad that came and went quickly. Probably from all the law suites of the now seeing impaired. Tragic story that rice necklace. Let us never speak of it again.

So anyway we're at the mall and Brynner is bored in point two seconds until he sees this train coming right for us. Do you have a train in your local mall? I do and I must say it keeps shopping at the mall a bit edgier. You have to be on the look out at all times, absolutely no window shopping of ANY KIND or you could be flatten like a pancake that was squashed extra flat. Brynner didn't sense the danger, he was just excited to see it pass by and wanted more then anything to, "Ride, train, yeah?!" In order to keep him at bay while Daddy shopped his gift cards away, I went in search of this train. We passing it going the opposite direction twice without figuring out where to board the stupid thing. I finally jogged along side it long enough to ask the "conductor" and she pointed me in the right direction. We get our tickets ($6.00??!) and it's our turn to get on...finally. Brynner suddenly senses just how dangerous this train was and screams and kicks and freaks until I throw up my hands and get off. No refunds. Don't worry, we totally sold our tickets illegally to a couple who gave me coin dollars. This train is no where near as dangerous as I am. I sensed mall cops closing in as I cut them off just before the train rolled by. We decided to lay low and get some lunch. Brynner had other ideas. He decided to be super difficult (and loud) and throw a tantrum. He laid flat on his back and cried while he blew raspberries (which means he's super duper mad). Not as inconspicuous as I would have liked. On the way home he fell asleep in the car, very rare. He didn't wake up when we pulled in the garage, opened doors, took him out of his seat, not even when we took off his coat and shoes! He has never done that before in his entire life. I guess he was tired. Another eventful day at the mall, let us never speak of it again.

*Pictures from http://www.wattman.ca/mini-express.html and http://www.dreamairbrush.com/rice_jewelry/rice_jewelry.htm

Ranked #1 on relish list. Must Read!

I'm having stuffing tomorrow! Stuffing is one of my very favorite boxed foods. I think it ranks 4 on the "Greatest boxed foods of our time" list (can you guess my #1?). But the turkey drenched in my Mom's famous cranberry-raspberry relish? That ranks about a 1 on my "Really good relish" list. It is heavenly cranberry-raspberry relish, eaten in the heavens only, and on Thanksgiving Day, and for about a month afterward (because it makes so much). What if we run out of the cranberry-raspberry relish before the turkey has been eaten?! It's a legitimate fear we remedy by making about a gallon of it. Problem averted. I'm telling you, if you get nothing out of this blog except for this recipe, you're time has been well spent my friend. I want you to take that canned "Cranberry Sauce" in your cupboard and kick it. It should not be taking up any space, visually or otherwise (otherwise being on your thanksgiving table..but I just couldn't bring myself to say that). {Heavenly} Cranberry-Raspberry Relish Originally from: Trish Jenkin

1 lb fresh cranberries

2 tart apples, peeled and quartered

1 cup sugar

1/2 cup orange marmalade

10 oz. raspberries, thawed

1 Tbsp lemon juice

Put all of the ingredients in a blender and blend for 1 to 2 minutes or until everything is finely chopped. This lasts for one month in the refrigerator.

It was ranked #1! The "Must try," of the season by Tahnie.

Library Shoot. "Check" it out.

Did you get that? "Check" it out. As in the library will let you "check out" books about crocheting. Nevermind. It's not cool if you have to explain yourself. I know Holly has been anxious to " " these out.

You know you want a family picture to call your own. It deserves a loving home just like yours. Email me at tahnieroska[at]yahoo[dot]com.

Chocolate with a side of hot

Hot Chocolate. Isn't it the greatest?! Snowy days and I have a superficial relationship. We're cool as long as I can have +=

Brynner and our front rug also have a superficial relationship. He uses it for one singular purpose. To serve his sentence in the time out zone. Can you see his little bum imprint? That gives you some idea of how often they see each other.

He got out on good behavior and discovered he loves hot chocolate as much as I do!

Dear Jessica and Paul,

I hope you smile when you see these! I can't get over those little jeans Cohen was strutting around in. How adorable is he?! Thanks for trusting me to take them, I had a blast! I could tell your favorite part was when I sang the Itsy Bitsy Spider....and Cohen could have cared less. I can't compete with rocks or trucks, and certainly not trains. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. That's what I say.

P.S. If anyone else wants some "Christmas card" pictures let me know. Eighty bucks will get you a CD with all your images and copyright release. Eighty bucks and an almond joy will get you the CD PLUS a little dance by yours truly. I'll practice. You think about it and let me know.

Jim makes ketchup funny

I don't date around with other comedian's. Let's just say Jim and I are going steady. We had a little date on Friday and I even paid. Brad is cool with it. He came to keep me company while Jim was on stage. You have my permission to watch the clip but just remember he's MY comedian ladies. Hands off.

My Styrofoam Balls

I'm super crafty these days. I take things and glue them to Styrofoam balls.

(You need to read that last sentence again, it was really good.)

What kinds of things you ask? Pinto beans. It took me about 14 hours, but once I was done my sense of accomplishment felt great! I can't deny there were times when I wanted to give up, but saving $9 made it well worth my burns and sore back. You can't buy crafty knowledge like that. I proudly put The Pinto Bean Ball in it's dish along with The Twig Ball and The Hemp Ball.

Perfect.

Now I can look at them and be reminded how crafty I am. Today I started The Autumn Ball. I spent $3 on real maple leaves covered in fake coloring that smelled chemical-ish.

Perfect.

I have big plans for my collection. Seven words. The-Moss-Ball-and-The-Feather-Ball. I think I'm gluing on uncharted craft territory.

(OK you really have to read that last sentence, it was even better!)

Lucky number seven

Did you know our anniversary was this week?! As in Brad and I, not our anniversary. I don’t share my anniversaries with just anyone. There are strict rules one must adhere to.

1. You would be required to love the socks off me.

2. Sexy squint eyes are a must!

3. You have to make killer Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies and burn grilled cheese sandwiches while telling me you didn’t burn a thing.

4. You must take two of those killer Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies and sandwich some cookie dough in-between to make you smile….and sick.

5. Laughing at yourself, your wife, the TV, your kid, strangers, and people falling down cannot be compromised upon (sorry).

6. You need to have a super annoying and hairy dog whom will take every single chance he has to run out the front door, back door, side door (if we had a side door), and garage door.

7. My son must ask about you every few hours, minutes, or sometimes seconds when you're not here.

8. Your Lady must think about you every few hours, minutes, or sometimes seconds when you're not here.

9. You must make me mad. But only sometimes please. I’m just saying…

10. You must make me happy. Like really happy. The kind of happy that no one else could.

Tall order? I know. Can you imagine his list??! [modest smile]

Kisses

Brynner got his first kiss last night. The girl? She's our bishop's daughter (Scandal!). It was the cutest thing I think I've ever seen. Two little ones puckered as puckered lips get, leaning in for a smooch. And let me tell you, once she got her kiss, Natalie wanted a few more. Not that I blame her, he is cute you know. My gosh they are cute. I'm trying to see how many times I can say cute without getting sick of it and I have the need to say it more. Cute. Cute. STINKIN' Cute! Surprising to me, it didn't make me sad thinking how big he was. My heart was too busy melting into a puddle.

I didn't have my camera last night, but here are a couple kisses when I did.

**What happened to all girls have cooties?!

Licking good time

Brynner will shove his hand by Rusty's mouth (or in his mouth if he's not getting a response) and squeal with delight as Rusty obliges him a few licks. I cringe, I laugh, then I take a photo.